Archive for March 2nd, 2011

Being Green

March 2, 2011

Sorry I’m late I was just out pouring waste oil into my wood burner. I can only burn it at night because the thick black smoke it billows would give Algore a stroke. The heating bill last month was brutal I’ve got to do something to supplement my system or my pipes are going to freeze. We’ve already got old rotten pallet wood and junk furniture burning in the fireplace. Let me tell you, nothing makes a funkier green smoke than the fabric and padding in a couch. And the springs radiate heat for hours. I just don’t know how long I can keep paying these ridiculous bills. And they just keep going up. Chairman Zero, we need help.

The fuel for my car keeps going up. I’d like to get a newer one that gets better mileage but there’s no way I can afford it and still drive so I’ve pulled all the emissions crap off of this one to increase the mileage. Seems like it worked a little but the smell is terrible for people behind me. And food has gone up so much that I have taken to poaching for sustenance. I’ve got about seven squirrels right now but I don’t think they’re going to last long. They’re kind of scrawny. I guess they didn’t get much to eat since our garden failed this year. I couldn’t afford the water bill to keep it watered.

Before you get your check book out to give me a helping hand let me just say that this is a story not my actual circumstances. But let me tell you, there are plenty of people out there with similar solutions to similar problems. Things are getting tough all over. People are having to scratch to get by. It’s only about ten dollars more a fill up at the gas pump but when you have to do it three times a week that’s $30.00 a week, $120.00 a month, and $1,560.00 a year. If you only make $25,000.00 a year that’s six percent of your income. That’s not total for fuel that’s how much it has increased. The cost of getting to work has just increased six percent. That amounts to a six percent cut in pay courtesy of the gubmint. Before you call me a liar let me just say, drill here, drill now. Again, courtesy of the gubmint.

Here’s what it boils down to, a lot of people are scrambling to put food on the table and get to their job, if they are lucky enough to still have one. And our illustrious leader is still trying to shove his environmentalism down our throats. Well the fact is when you’re scrambling to make ends meet you couldn’t care less about BS like being green. Don’t care. Don’t care! DON”T CARE! Until next time, screw environmentalists.