The Cause Pt. 2

To get what they needed the progressives were going to have to get at that Constitution thing. Hempha Jr, and Royce III were in regular contact with their handlers in Overcastistan. They received instruction on how to change the Constitution but they had become assimilated into the culture and, as worthless commies, they were too high to do the things asked of them by their communist overlords.

Finally they met up with a woman named Carrie Nation, a hatchet faced woman who carried a hatchet and a Bible (she really did see that here). She specialized in depriving others of their freedoms and blaming it all on God. Hempha and Royce were overjoyed. Together they were able to outlaw beer and whiskey. The overlords in Overcastistan could not believe what they heard. Only idiots would attempt such a thing they said, but Hempha, Royce and Carrie were successful and Prohibition went into effect.

After a decade of stupidity the total sum of Prohibition was to make a bunch of scoflaw libs, like Joseph Kennedy, wealthy. No other notable things happened. The Amendment was repealed and the libs were back to square one. Changing the Constitution to favor their views had been a colossal failure. They needed another plan, and as usual Royce and Hempha were too high to come up with anything. The overlords told them to begin working on a plan to consolidate the workers. That would serve to weaken the country so they could be captured.

Many invaders came forward to join the labor movement. They tried all kinds of things to bring down the country. Strikes, vandalism, arson and intimidation. But all to no avail. The people of the country could not be turned into the whinny wusses needed to leave the country open to invasion. While it did contribute a lot to weaken the country the labor movement could not do enough damage to make the country vulnerable to the invaders. Both the prohibition scheme and the labor scam would be kept in place to help weaken the country but clearly a new scam was needed.

Finally, after decades of plotting, the progressives came up with a plan that made Satan blush. They would shame the people into turning on their own country by making it look as if the people were destroying their own country with their own success. How would they do this? With an intricate plan involving the wilderness. A new idea that claimed the people were destroying not only animal habitat but their own. And soon they would not be able to live with what they had done to the wilderness. It was a plan worthy of the greatest charlatans of all time. And many came forward to answer the call. And so was born the environmental movement. Until next time screw environmentalists.

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