Archive for January 24th, 2011

Green Spy Blimp

January 24, 2011

Austin Powers and Batman would be envious of Chairman Zero and his all new spy blimp. This idea is dumb as a hub cap. Here it is, let’s take the biggest, slowest, dumbest airship we can conjure up and stick it up over a war zone with some hydrogen on board. Sound like a plan? If so, have a look here. I don’t know about you but I am just baffled with the brilliance.

So let’s get the facts straight this thing is 450 feet long. I heard it was supposed to be that wide and even longer. So anyway, it’s huge, good thing it only has to land once every ten years. That’s the figure I heard sprayed around, ten years in the air. It’s unmanned, did I mention that? Did the article mention that? Yeah, nobody on it just a radar system. Then some solar panels to recharge the hydrogen fuel cell. That’s it. I’m betting it could have been much smaller but they needed all that surface area for the solar panels to recharge the fuel cell. Yes. A fuel cell. It will be powered by a hydrogen fuel cell. The darn thing’s green.

Oh, then there’s the supercomputer. Gee, did I forget to mention the supercomputer? Yeah, it’s going to have a supercomputer. But it won’t be for remembering what you did on 12 February, 2020. Honest. And we would never use it to spy on you. If you believe that see here. Ogden is so…oh what should we say…progressive? Don’t you agree? Oh, and did I mention that we get all of this for only $400 million? I think I can build that blimp for $200 million.

So now they think they might need more of these things. A whole fleet in fact. See here. I tell you now, I am from the gubmint and I am here to help you and there is no way these will be used to invade your privacy. NO WAY. If you believe that see here. Just when you think you’ve seen it all. Until next time, screw environmentalists.