Wal-Martered

I motored through the parking lot of my local Wal-Mart the other day and as I cruised past the front of the store I noticed that I was having to come to a complete stop no less than six times. I can see before the cross walk but in the middle and at the end, WTF? Now it didn’t end there. The people I was stopping for were not even taking a quick look to see if I might be, indeed, stopping for them. They and their mentally challenged offspring just ambled along to show off their latest spandex creation. Not wanting to miss the next edition of “Wal-Mart People” I, of course, stopped…and took photos.

Now I AM going somewhere with this, I am not just kicking the morons while they are down. One of my pet peeves has always been how little respect people have for driving and automobiles. It WILL kill you. If you really want to see some terrible casualty figures dig up the stuff on auto wrecks. Another part of this peeve would be that there is no such thing as an accident…only wrecks. They all could have been averted in one way or another.

Anyway, there is a Lowe’s adjacent to my Wal-Mart, and their parking lot is much more motor friendly. But some of the Wal-Mart People seemed to have strayed over and I found myself having to stop, yet again, for the blind (I can only assume). As I stared in disbelief at the brood-mare and her litter who were responsible for the coffee down the front of me I realized that they looked as if they were walking through a park. I instantly wanted to yell, “It’s a parking lot, not a park!”

That’s when it hit me. These people were destined to be Wal-Martered. Yes. I am quite astute when at the wheel. I have actually pulled out of a turning lane and watched the car that was behind me rear-end the car that was in front of me. But these people. They couldn’t even be bothered to see if I was even looking where I was going. They weren’t long for this world. The sad part is, later, after watching them try to buy driveway pavers and a coyfish pond with food stamps I really didn’t care.

Friends. This is what “cradle to grave” nanny state legislation produces. Here’s the scenario, you tell me how it plays out. You take several of these people and put them all over a parking lot and set them free in vehicles and on foot. What’s the outcome? This is bound to play out for real in the near future. Write this down and watch for the news story. Until next time, screw environmentalists.

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