Archive for May 20th, 2009

The Big Three

May 20, 2009

You are fifteen years old. Let’s make a bet, one thousand dollars and I’ll give you one hundred to one odds that you don’t die this year. Pretty good odds, huh? If you die I give you one hundred thousand dollars.

When you pay me after the first year I go to the mayor and give him fifty so he makes it a law that you have to make this bet year after year or else you can’t come out of your house. Still OK with the bet?

The next year I give him another fifty to make it a law that you have to pay up front.  How are you liking the bet now? Is it still OK or is it getting sticky?

The following year I give the mayor fifty and have him make it a law that everybody has to make this bet or they can’t come out of their house. He does it but he can see where there is a lot of money to be made and he wants his brother in on it. The law doesn’t say who they have to make the bet with so his brother begins taking these bets as well as me and others.

We make so much money that we give the mayor ten thousand and all he has to do is make it a law that you and the rest of the people have to eat healthy and get a check up once a month. Hey, it’s a good idea for your health and safety anyway so he does it. Another ten thousand and he makes a law that you have to be in a neon orange Kevlar bio-bubble every time you leave the house, he’s in so deep now he just takes his money and does what we tell him.

When you turn sixty-five I stop making the bet with you and you can’t find anyone else who will make the bet with you, but the law says you have to so you get a guy to help you take me to court. He says he will help you if you give him fifty percent of what he is able to get from me. You agree and you get a liberal judge who grants you the original fifty thousand you paid me. But you have to give the guy who helped you half. You end up with half what you paid me but I am still making the bet with your children and their children and so on.

It may sound simplified and twisted but now we have just covered corrupt politicians, insurance companies and the judicail system. Pretty much the big three at screwing things up. It seems that every time I get tangled up with one of these I end up more screwed than when I started. Sometimes I think if I went to court dead it would somehow get worse while I was there.